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Monday, May 26, 2008

Hey! You don't own the road

Surely you've noticed it’s closing in on summer. The mercury shoots up to 10 degrees Celsius and the city goes mad. Men shed their jackets to show their muscles and strut around town, women all decked out in their summer dresses and cute little sandals. The crotch-rocket motorcycle dudes zoom by, ripping holes in ear drums with their noisy exhausts. And the Hummers and giant SUV-types take over the (all ready cramped) Halifax streets. I know they were here all winter, I guess I’m just noticing them more because of the patio’s that food establishment construct that take up half the street, leaving little room for road traffic (another thing that irritates the hell our of me). The SUV’ers are cruising around the city, cutting people off, parking wherever they like, they think because they are bigger, they rule the road. Well, I’m getting sick of it! People, you live in a tiny little city – This is Halifax, not Toronto!


Driving a giant SUV is the vehicular equivalent of jumping up and down on a busy street screaming LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! Driving one every day is like an Ad nauseam re-enactment of standing up through the sun roof of a stretch limo going 50 clicks down Spring Garden Road screaming "Woo! Yeah baby!"—the thing you imagined was the coolest possible thing to do when you were 10.

The megalomaniacs who drive huge vehicles revel in their environmental punishment. It's not that they're ignorant of their impact and excesses; it's simply that they don't give a shit. That is the SUV Motto...I can haul it right up over the curb and squash you like a little bug! I can burn $100 in gas in a day or two! No one can stop me! Woo Hoo! Yeah baby!

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Photo and video courtesy of FAH2

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