The mind changes over time by actions, and vice versa. 

If you have will power, use actions.

If you are more the inspirational type, use the mind.

All that you think is rain is not.

All that you think is rain is not. Behind the veil angels sometimes weep.

-
Rumi

(photo was taken during a heavy rainfall in Tulum Mexico)

Taking a blogging hiatus

Feeling so uninspired these days.

I'll be back after a little break...

*Sigh*

I feel like I'm rusting. I think the endless fog and rain outside has seeped into my head making all the gears and pulleys seize up.

I have had a few things to post but haven't been able to assemble anything coherent in weeks. Guess that is what weeks of gray sky, fog and rain will do to a person. But here is a brief rundown:

• A prom dress fiasco.
• Upset teen.
• Brand new ball gown for sale (size 12, pink) if anyone is the market.
• My memory is shit.
• Puppies are exhausting.

Today was...

So Long A Privilege to Know You

Two dear friends of mine passed away this week. One a couple days ago of a heart attack and another today from a massive heart attack, ages 42 and 43. Too young too soon :(

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, make your peace today,
♥

... on the bright side

 I've been feeling really disconnected lately. I feel as if I have no idea of my own reality -- if that makes any sense... Possibly these feelings stem from being so worried about my youngest daughter and her situation and feeling like I am so helpless to be able to fix what is wrong.  Mothers are suppose to do that arn't they? They are suppose to make it all better and right now I don't know how to do that.

I'm trying hard to remind myself that that which does not kill us only makes us stronger, and usually I have found that to be true.

On the bright side...
the sun was shining today,
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I'm not crazy. I'm just...

Hubby finishes my thought: "Slightly Off-Center"

Me: "So, what if being on  these meds brings out a different personality -- the 'real Jack'?"

Hubby: "Baby, I've loved every single one of your personalities."

--- --- --- --- ---

Still here folks.  My brain is still experiencing some technical difficulties but I am starting to see some improvement.  The fog is beginning to clear and I can see some light at the end of the tunnel.  I'll be back soon :)

xo

In Limbo

My mind is very cloudy these days. I can only focus on a couple things at a time and my little blog has become very quiet.

I started to write an entry twice this morning, and filled some of the white space in this little post area, before backing it all out not really liking anything I had written.

I have been reading a lot of my favourite blogs but have not been commenting. Same thing, I end up writing something in the comment field and then backing it all out... it's a strange, strange state of mind I am in. I hope I will have something to say soon.

Here is one thing I can share with you all. 

It's a little play list I like to call "Candlelight & Riesling"

xo

On nights like tonight

Right now I'm listening to the rain beat a rhythm on my windows. The sound is hypnotic and making me sleepy.

Hubby and I just finished dropping our son off at a friends house where they are leaving on a road trip to Montreal, Quebec. Why must my children torture me this way?

Tonight I have a lot on my mind and I thought that maybe I would come on here and just ramble -- let it all out. But when I sat down to vent all my emotions, feelings, the things that I have stored up inside me... the clouds floated on in and my mind went blank. Perhaps tomorrow I will try again.

Sleep tight, and sweet dreams all!

Just a quick note

Ever had one of those days where you just sit around the house all day, puttering around doing nothing in particular? Well I just did.

It's early evening now, and I only have a few hours before I drag my ass to the comfort of my cozy bed, and I've accomplished absolutely nothing today. Hubby is away on a man retreat this weekend. The "HE-Man Woman Haters Club", is meeting for the first time this season at their wilderness getaway deep in the forest. I've been left home alone, but I don't mind, I'm enjoying the time for some quiet contemplation.

So here I sit, sun is sinking into the horizon, casting such a pretty glow. Candles are lit and flicker softly, the room is silent. Silent, except for the tapping of my fingers on the keyboard. Silent, except for Pink Floyd playing in the background.

I have been meaning to get around to one thing. I received an award for my blog last week from the ever so inspirational Tina from Gal Friday. Thank you Tina! I love visiting  Gal Friday's blog to read her interesting musings about life and motherhood, photography, and other very readable topics. Please stop by her blog sometime this week and say hello.

I have been the recipient of this award way back in November where I followed the rules and listed my "10 things you might not know about me". This time around I think I will put my own little spin on the rules and list "10 phobias you might not know I have".

1. Being tickled
2. Bright, loud patterns
3. Birds
4. Enclosed spaces
5. Clowns
6. Marionette puppets
7. Spiders
8. Failure
9. Hypnosis
10. Heights

For the the next part of this award I am suppose to list 10 recipients for the Honest Scrap, but since I have already passed this award along to a good number of you on my blogroll, I think I will just invite everyone who wishes to accept this award to grab the button that goes along with, and list your 10 fears, phobias, or things we might not know about you.

Hope your all have a lovely weekend!

Taking a little break. Need to Reboot

Another week inside my head

Every time I pass by my reflection today I cringe. I look so tired and slightly frayed around the edges.  I haven't been sleeping all that well the past week.  I've been obsessively worrying again. My oldest daughter is off to NY with a few friends for Spring Break. That isn't all that worrisome, but they have decided to make it a road trip. The drive from Halifax to NY is 900+ Kilometers, a 17 hour drive - Ugh!

I hate obsessing over things I have no control over; it changes me, I become distant, withdrawn and anxiety consumes me.  I get all knotted up inside and the binding that holds me together tightens with each breath; it brings on an uneasy feeling that twists, flutters and eats me up inside.  I wish I wasn't like this.

So this week I will hide in my house, in my room and hide in my obsessive thoughts and worries. Only when she returns home safe and sound will I be able to breath a sigh of relief. It is going to be a very bumpy week folks!

Women's Intuition?

I have been having this odd feeling of Déjà vu. An awful, sick feeling in the pit of my belly. A sense of something amiss. I'm feeling very unsettled this morning. It could be that it's only my anxiety about sleeping alone that is getting the best of me; I'm not really sure what else it could be.