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Tuesday, April 1, 2008

You may think it's funny, but it's snot

Sitting at my desk yesterday I noticed a peculiar smear trailing down the rail of the stairwell that leads to my second floor. As I sat here staring at the odd stain on the wall, it occurred to me what it was - "Ewww grosse! Is that SNOT"?! I hurry to the bathroom to get a pair of latex gloves, some bleach, and a sponge. I spray and scrub, gagging all the while, wondering which one of my pretty little nieces left this little green gift for me? I wonder how many dried-crusted gifts they leave on their own walls at home? Eww Eww Eww! It's surprising how hard it is to remove dried snot and boogies stuck to a wall. I'm scrubbing for all I'm worth and the spot does vanish but it takes some of the paint with it.

Why, why, why do children do this sort of thing, don't they realize how totally disgusting it is? I tried to remember a time when I had to clean up dried snot that was left by my own children when they were younger, but I don't think I ever had to - perhaps they just found better hiding spots!

So now what? I'm sitting here right now trying to decide whether or not to confront the two *boogie* monsters when they come over later today. I'm sure neither would admit to such a disgusting act. They would both deny doing it and blame the other and I'm sure it will turn into a yelling match between the two. Maybe I’ll just give them a simple hygiene lesson, explaining how wiping bodily fluids on walls and other objects, is impolite (and utterly f@#$ing disgusting). Then teach them how to use a tissue.

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